scamp

cheeky wind up scamp

Soya/Quorn

Tastes like meat, looks like meat, but is generally too rubbery to be meat - the ultimate deception food. And look at who is being deceived - poor, innocent vegetarians... This means that they still like meat, so are they just in denial or easily fooled?

For proving that vegetarians aren't 100% pure, 9/10

The slag on the side?

Bread

The slag of all foods or the best friend of every meal?

Good with jam 7/10

a new shoes tragedy?

New Shoes

They're always far too pretty and shiny in the sale.

But the price tag doesn't include the plasters, taxis and therapy.

... yet, whatever your size, they always look good when you try them on 9/10

USA stereotyping... moi?

NYC - Why wasn't everyone fat??

For making me wish I had gone on a pre-holiday diet 3/10

For making me want to live there, even if in a cardboard box, 11/10

discovering drunken talents

Karaoke.

Discovered a new talent for tambourine tapping and invisible microphone holding, as well as the obvious drunken wailing. Life will never be the same again...

Surely the country's most under rated talent 8/10

a bit o' history

Ned Ludd.

The first working class hero?

... sure my Nan had that dress 5/10

what do pigeons really get up to?

Pigeons.

Why do they have deformed feet and oil slick feathers when they live in city centres? How have they seemlessly made the move from bread crumbs to vomit? How come you never see pigeon babies?

Chances of secret pigeon plan to take over the world 10/10

playing the hungover victim

Is being the only one with a hangover after a works night out a sign of weakness or bullying? Either way, it does hurt… very much…all over…

0/10

my baby, the cactus

To a small minority he is a social outcast, but to his mum he's an angel.

10/10

culinary show-off

Shepherds smothered in gravy and buried under a canopy of fluffy mash potatoes

A modest 8/10

s'all good in my tum

Mmmmmmm chicken soup. Good for the soul but not for the rubber chicken.

9/10

cubical troubles

The last cubical has been locked for the past 4 days. Has someone done an Elvis??

8/10

post-birthday brew

Simon was kind enough to make me a post-birthday brew. Either my sweet tooth has gone crazy with too much Birthday cake, or there was a lack of a few sugar grains.

Could do better 5/10

popping the tarts

Annie has purchased Pop Tarts in his pursuit of an American diet.
Taste better than I remember.
7/10